If your spiritual practice is asking you to withdraw from all your five senses, and to withdraw from your thinking and judging mind, do not fight, dwell on human life as suffering, and quietly accept all the negatives of human existence, what good you are to the society. You are going to be exploited and victimized.

Hinduism, therefore, found a solution to this problem by dividing the human life span into four distinct phases – Brahamcharya (growing and learning years) 0-25 years, Grihastha (householder) 25-50, Vanaprastha (community builder) 50-75, and Sannyasa (renunciate) 75-100, thereby freeing people from the obsession of achieving nirvana for at least the first 50 years of their life. Hinduism also created a provision for just war, although in practice that idea has been abandoned. There is no such thing in Buddhism, and if you believe in Christian values there is no such thing as a just war in Jesus Christ’s thinking as well.

Buddhism has a different take on this, they think by the time you are fifty, your behavior pattern is deeply entrenched, and you are like an old dog who cannot be taught new tricks. We need to introduce spirituality to people when they are young, during their adolescence when their minds are impressionable. A second argument for initiating people early is that some individuals may already be ready for the transcendent experience even in their childhood or teens, it will be cruel to deny them the opportunity to grow spiritually. A counterargument to that would be that teens are not giving informed consent to their vow of spiritual life. The Hollywood film Nuns Story brings out that conflict clearly. Audrey Hepburn, who joins a convent at a tender age wants to be released from her vows when she struggles with the realities of spiritual life; and the trauma of her father getting killed by Nazis is the final straw that makes her leave the convent. Catching people early had the opposite effect here. However, the same set of experiences for someone living the life of a householder and a worldly person would have made them renounce the world and take the robes.

Islam also catches people young but not with the idea of helping them experience God or be in union with God, but to follow God’s dictates about conduct in daily life and to spread the message to the rest of the world. In Islam God is not something that you can experience within yourself.

What does Google tell us about positive thinking?

A quick Google search tells us that Positive thinking is an optimistic attitude and a practice of focusing on the good in any given situation. That does not mean you ignore reality or make light of problems. It simply means you approach the good and the bad in life with the expectation that things will go well.

There are numerous books and articles on How to think positive thoughts as mentioned below.

• Focus on the good things. Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life. …
• Practice gratitude. …
• Smile more
• Reframe your situation
• Keep a gratitude journal.
• Open yourself up to humor. …
• Picture your best possible future
• Focus on your strengths
• Spend time with positive people. …
• Practice positive and affirmative self-talk. …
• Identify your areas of negativity. …
• Start every day on a positive note.
• Hold on to – the “you can do it and fight it off” approach.

There is an element of American machoism or Can-Do spirit in this way of positive thinking. It certainly helps people, and many have vouched for its effectiveness. I have somehow considered this approach superficial; it is like putting a pleasing coat of paint on the surface and it hides the true inner self. However, the proponents of this approach will say that if you go on practicing, the effect will trickle down to the deeper layers of your Being, it is like you fake it till you make it.

Going by the above discussion, my approach with my clients can be considered negative, as I do not ask them to imagine the positives of life. On the contrary, I asked them to imagine the negatives that are not there in their lives, so that they become more comfortable with who they are, where they are in life, and what they have.

I recently saw a couple who were falling apart and had lost intimacy in their relationship, they both were in their mid-fifties and had no children. I asked them to imagine how life would be in 20- or 30 years’ time, when they may have numerous health conditions, their mobility will be restricted, they will not be able to earn, they won’t be able to hear properly, or digest food and they will need help from someone else with their everyday needs. I also discussed the fact that the house they own and live in will be in existence for several hundred years and will outlive them. Imagine someone else living and owning that house, and that eventually, it will not belong to them.

 Apparently, all this is not positive thinking, but it had an incredibly positive effect on their marriage and well-being. Soon after the fourth session, even before the six-session program could end, they booked a holiday in France and were enjoying life and togetherness. I could see the gratefulness in their eyes.

Conclusion 

On reflection, almost all the therapeutic techniques I use with my client can be dubbed as a negative way of thinking by the proponents of positive thinking. These are: –

• The experience of everything being impermanent, as it encourages one to zoom out and see the bigger picture. Secondly, one is moving closer to reality rather than remaining in denial of it and one can deal better with it.
• Non-identification with everything that one has, and one is, may lead to the expansion of consciousness.
• Equanimity can help us replace worldly pleasures and pain with inner bliss, joy, and peace.
• The non-judgemental approach can be a means to arrive at equanimity, and the right judgment eventually.
• Not trying to eliminate the negative elements from one’s mind but not to identify with them, and they can see for themselves that it fades away sooner that way.
• Acceptance. It can be fatalistic if it is the decisive point, but not if one can see that as the starting point. The research in the breast cancer field tells us that patients who can accept the diagnosis, treatment process, and the seriousness of the illness and at the same time have a fighting spirit survive much better compared to those who only have acceptance and no fighting spirit, or just the fighting spirit and no acceptance.
• Surrender – to the laws of the universe and one’s ultimate destiny (the result of our past karmas). It is not the surrender of one’s actions but the surrender of one obsession with the results.
• Detachment. It is a corollary to non-identification.
• The compassion that makes us associate with unfortunate, helpless, and negative people. This can have a damaging effect if one’s positive spiritual force is weaker than the negative energies coming out of the person. That is why some people keep their distance from undesirable characters which are fully understandable.
• Forgiveness. Practiced by a stronger person would be more beneficial compared to a weak person who can do nothing apart from forgiving.

To conclude, it appears to me that what appears to be negative thinking may have an incredibly positive effect on people’s psyches, and vice versa.

Read Less