Coincidence or destined

Coincidence or Destined

Overview 
When a trivial incident becomes a turning point in your life.

How can we take full credit for all the rewards that come to us because of doing something very trivial without even having a serious intention to do it?

A single letter was written to someone, a phone call, a chance meeting without any plan, or responding to a job advert. The decision was taken at the spur of the moment without giving it much thought.

At times, the outcome of that trivial action changes our life completely. Is this our carefully crafted destiny or just chance?

On the other hand, would it be a justified punishment if one suffers heavy losses because of a trivial action or a statement one has made, which may have been unintended? A trivial omission or a lapse in awareness and you end up with a life-changing tragedy. You are stepping down a bus, just one wrong step, and you are paralyzed in all your limbs for the rest of your life.

You give a single statement unintended and lose a job or a friendship for the rest of your life. Are these examples just a chance or your destiny and a result of your good and bad karma?

Science can explain the paralysis

Science can explain the paralysis, but it cannot explain the extent of suffering which is grossly disproportionate to the degree of the lapse in awareness in stepping down a bus.

Here are some examples of how a single and small incident can be a major turning point in someone’s life.

  • A health official and an expert in data analysis and statistics, who had worked in the UN wrote a letter to a chief minister in India highlighting the problems in the state. He did not have any political ambitions. That single letter got him the job of a political strategist and made him the most sought-after political strategist in the country.
  •  A second example – a single letter changed the life of a software engineer. She came across a job advert in a newspaper for a software engineer’s post in a multinational company. They wanted only a male applicant. She wrote a letter to the chairperson of the company questioning their demand only for a male applicant. She was not expecting any reply, but the Chairman of the company wrote back and met her, and she got the job.
  • Third example –A struggling male model who was unknown to a Bollywood actress and a former Miss Universe posted a romantic note on her social media, not expecting to receive any reply from her. However, she did reply to him, and they started a relationship.
  • Fourth example – A junior psychiatrist, now a retired professor of psychiatry in India, wrote a letter to a world-renowned Professor of Psychiatry in London in 1970s seeking advice. He never thought he will get a reply to his letter, but he did and the two became friends and worked together for the next 40 years.

Conclusion

To conclude we put people on a pedestal, create halos around them and fail to see the human being inside as a human being; a human being who is insecure deep within, who needs a connection and an acknowledgment of their existence, wants recognition, respect, appreciation and who has a caring heart and wants to do something for others.

It is also true that we must acknowledge the extraordinary qualities of commoners, which are not as uncommon as we think, and bow to those qualities as well. And try to imbibe them into our lives.

Life is so complicated and difficult for everyone, and if we fail to get a response from someone to our initiative, we assume that the person is not interested. However, the fact may be that they were interested but things got lost in the crowd of messages that they receive every day, and sending a reminder is always helpful before giving up.

The formula propounded by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements, published in 1997, would be relevant here. The four agreements are: –

  • Do not assume anything
  • Do not take anything personally
  • Be impeccable with your words
  • Do your best

Self-help gurus remind us that it is our thought process that is the limiting factor, all the great achievers have thought and planned big irrespective of what station in life they were from. That is the first necessary step in winning, you do not win if you are not in.

A single letter was written to someone, a phone call, a chance meeting without any plan, or responding to a job advert. The decision was taken at the spur of the moment without giving it much thought.

At times, the outcome of that trivial action changes our life completely. Is this our carefully crafted destiny or just chance?

On the other hand, would it be a justified punishment if one suffers heavy losses because of a trivial action or a statement one has made, which may have been unintended? A trivial omission or a lapse in awareness and you end up with a life-changing tragedy. You are stepping down a bus, just one wrong step, and you are paralyzed in all your limbs for the rest of your life.

You give a single statement unintended and lose a job or a friendship for the rest of your life. Are these examples just a chance or your destiny and a result of your good and bad karma?

Science can explain the paralysis

Science can explain the paralysis, but it cannot explain the extent of suffering which is grossly disproportionate to the degree of the lapse in awareness in stepping down a bus.

Here are some examples of how a single and small incident can be a major turning point in someone’s life.

  • A health official and an expert in data analysis and statistics, who had worked in the UN wrote a letter to a chief minister in India highlighting the problems in the state. He did not have any political ambitions. That single letter got him the job of a political strategist and made him the most sought-after political strategist in the country.
  •  A second example – a single letter changed the life of a software engineer. She came across a job advert in a newspaper for a software engineer’s post in a multinational company. They wanted only a male applicant. She wrote a letter to the chairperson of the company questioning their demand only for a male applicant. She was not expecting any reply, but the Chairman of the company wrote back and met her, and she got the job.
  • Third example –A struggling male model who was unknown to a Bollywood actress and a former Miss Universe posted a romantic note on her social media, not expecting to receive any reply from her. However, she did reply to him, and they started a relationship.
  • Fourth example – A junior psychiatrist, now a retired professor of psychiatry in India, wrote a letter to a world-renowned Professor of Psychiatry in London in 1970s seeking advice. He never thought he will get a reply to his letter, but he did and the two became friends and worked together for the next 40 years.

Conclusion

To conclude we put people on a pedestal, create halos around them and fail to see the human being inside as a human being; a human being who is insecure deep within, who needs a connection and an acknowledgment of their existence, wants recognition, respect, appreciation and who has a caring heart and wants to do something for others.

It is also true that we must acknowledge the extraordinary qualities of commoners, which are not as uncommon as we think, and bow to those qualities as well. And try to imbibe them into our lives.

Life is so complicated and difficult for everyone, and if we fail to get a response from someone to our initiative, we assume that the person is not interested. However, the fact may be that they were interested but things got lost in the crowd of messages that they receive every day, and sending a reminder is always helpful before giving up.

The formula propounded by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements, published in 1997, would be relevant here. The four agreements are: –

  • Do not assume anything
  • Do not take anything personally
  • Be impeccable with your words
  • Do your best

Self-help gurus remind us that it is our thought process that is the limiting factor, all the great achievers have thought and planned big irrespective of what station in life they were from. That is the first necessary step in winning, you do not win if you are not in.

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