A PLACE OF SAFETY

It was her fifth stop that night.
In search of a place of safety.
The smell od stale food, fresh urine, old clothes.
And the rank odour of tear trailed her;glued to her skin.

She was too old for the children’s ward,
Too young for the adults’ unit.
Too risky for the children’s home,
Too unwell for the police cell; too well for Casualty.

No beds in the borough, sorry.
Then back in the police van, long miles.
Driven through the heart of darkness,
In search of a place of safety.

It started after her seventeenth birthday,
When the demons from the past came again.
She screamed, swore, punched, kicked,
For the voices and images to go away.

They danced, relentless, in front of her
Till she was numb, exhausted,
The fight oozing out of her cuts red and thick.
Squeezing shut her veins, her face bloodless white.

The doctors, social worker, police officer
Warily stepped in, trespassing into her private hell.
“You are detained under the Mental Health Act.”
“We will take you to a place of safety.”

Numbers rent the air; words bounced off her headphones.
13 foster placements, 24/7 observations, date of birth.
“Challenging, abusive, aggressive, hostile,”
“Transition policy, serious untoward incident.”

Onto a sterile, soulless room;
A nurse next to her bed, one in the corridor.
She prowled in the space like a caged tiger,
Finally took the tablets the nurse held out.

Welcome oblivion soon set in,
The journey halted but only briefly.
A respite before her search ended
For a place of safety.

A thought nagged at her;she pushed it away.
Was it in the ageless land of the dead where there was no 
fear or favour,
Where a place wad always assured?
A place of safety.

———

• Kishore Chandiraani
• Consultant Psychiatrist, Emotions Clinic Education and Training Centre, Staffordshire. England
• www.undoyourstress.com